Friday, November 11, 2011

Racecar / Fan Fic Prequel

In this blog post, we're going to do something different. If you thought last week's haikus were out there, wait till you read on. We've written a description of one of the film's a palindrome!

Saw a rat, he spit.
Tips, eh?
Tara was.

Star: Rat S.

OK, that didn't work as well as we expected...That was a description of the subway scene, a fun segment in the film's third act. So you're not disappointed with this blog post, we'll give you another creative offering: a fan fiction prequel based on "Bystander." We understand you don't know the film's story because you haven't seen it yet, but in a few months, you'll appreciate this story.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Dave. He was a nice man. Not a devil, not a mensch, but in a comfortable place between the two. He lived in a small town called Plainsville. None of the town's inhabitants knew where it was located; geography was of no importance to the plain folk of Plainsville. They had other priorities, like what type of apple to buy, who danced with whom at the debutante ball, and how industrialized corn is destroying our digestive tracts.

Dave also had another priority: his daughter. Single dads are not easy to come by, so Dave viewed himself as a model for the single father community (quite the tight knit group). Each day, Dave dropped his daughter at school, went to work (which he enjoyed very much), picked up his daughter, had a family dinner, helped her with homework, caught up on the latest sitcoms and news, then went to bed. He lived a routine existence. Routine but safe. Very safe. So safe. From everything. Everything.

That was ironic foreshadowing.

One day, a day just like every other day, Dave went to work. He sat down at his outdated computer and began typing up the latest report about the product that he was in charge of as part of his job. Today the "d" key was sticking more than usual. Peculiar. Dave knew it was an omen. His intuition hadn't failed him before, like when the "u" key stuck and he correctly guessed that he was going to make spaghetti for dinner that night. Today, he believed the "d" key was a sign that life was going to take him on a roller coaster ride. He didn't know if this was a literal or figurative roller coaster; his omen reading hadn't progressed that far yet. All he knew was that life was going to get exciting.

He had no idea.

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