Monday, February 6, 2012

Life Advice from Robbie Stern

No one wants to relinquish complete control over his/her life to others' advice, but everyone needs the helpful hint every once in a while. This week, "Bystander's" producer Robbie Stern will be sharing his thoughts (and general musings) on life.

1) Life is good.

2) Well, life isn't always good. But more often than not, it is.

3) If the door's not closed, it's open. If you're a pessimist, the door's always closed.

4) Respect your parents. They give you food. And presents. There's a cycle of which you appreciate more. When you're young, all you want is food. Then around the time you start being bratty, all you want is presents. Several years later, when you're a teen, it's back to food. Then after you stop despising your parents when you're a young adult, you can't deny the nice gift.

5) Appreciate the little things.

6) But don't forget about the big things. If you don't watch out, these will come back to bite you. And it hurts. (Their teeth are very sharp. Trust me.)

7) Everyone deserves their just desserts, especially when it's chocolate.

8) Cleanliness is next to godliness. Animation is a close second.

9) Some opinions are just plain wrong. Like yours. Just have to accept it.

10) Please don't bite the bullet. It's dangerous.

11) Watch your step. No, not that step. That one. It's broken.

12) Slipping on ice isn't fun. Neither is homework. That means the worst thing is having to slip on ice for homework.

13) This is the luckiest number.

14) Buildings that skip the luckiest number and go straight to this one are stupid.

15) Why can't we all just get along?

16) No, really. That was a serious question.

17) Life is like an egg. If you crack the shell, the contents will spill out. And if you eat it, you can get salmonella.

18) Disregard all other life advice you've received prior to this compilation.

19) Fortune cookies do not give fortunes and cannot be considered cookies. Therefore, if one speaks to you, do not listen to what it says. It's lying. Also, you should be worried if food starts talking to you. But that's not my problem. It's yours.

20) Always say please and thank you.

If you want to be a happier person, you should follow this advice. Please? Thank you!

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